November is my birthday month. I’ve always been an attention hog, so I showed up on the planet early, during Thanksgiving dinner and six days after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Probably one reason why I’m a conspiracy junkie.
This year’s birthday is momentous. Fifty years of being me. It’s been exhausting.
I’m thankful for my life. To celebrate, here’s a list of life lessons, advice from moms and grandmothers, personal experiences, and proverbs I took ownership of for myself during my half-century. May they help you as you maneuver your way to being a woman ‘of a certain age’.
1) The world is naturally negative. Being positive is an act of rebellion.
2) Work hard. You work hard, you’ll be in charge.
3) Avoid skinny jeans. They are of the devil.
4) Your intuition knows the real deal. Don’t discount its ninja powers.
5) Be a lifetime learner. Determine to learn something new every day.
6) Eat more vegetables.
7) It’s always darkest before you reach the bathroom, you’re barefoot, and the kids didn’t put up their Legos.
8) Time is your most valuable asset. You can never make more, so spend it wisely.
9) Keep moving. Move it or lose it is a true statement.
10) Gratitude reduces wrinkles.
11) You teach people how to treat you. Teach them well.
12) The best caregivers take time to care for themselves.
13) Encourage your children to follow their passions by following your own.
14) Solitude will give you a sense of perspective and peace. Pursue it.
15) Lima beans are gross. It’s a law.
16) Be gentle with yourself. You won’t always get it right and that’s okay.
17) Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of what we do.
18) When feeling frumpy, put on lipstick. One cannot help but feel a little pretty with lipstick.
19) Remember where you came from.
20) Remember where you came from doesn’t have to determine where you’ll wind up.
21) You can never hug your children too much.
22) Tell your children THEIR story. It’s the first step to empowerment.
23) Those who have gone before you know a thing or two. Take time to listen to them.
24) Marry your best friend.
25) You’re never too old to watch The Princess Bride. Again.
26) Allow yourself the luxury of being yourself. Being someone else becomes drudgery.
27) Cats must ‘christen’ a newly cleaned litter box as soon as possible. It’s a law.
28) Wise husbands know chocolate is an important part of a healthy marriage.
29) Being judgmental is like shooting a shotgun. If you’re going to use it, be ready for the recoil. It might knock you on your *ss.
30) When things look really bleak, a new bra will always give you a better perspective.
31) Don’t take life too seriously. Your forehead will get speed bumps.
32) Express your creativity in some way every day. Write. Draw. Paint. Cook. Garden.
33) Get an annual physical check-up.
34) Dance while doing dishes at least once a week.
35) Try one bite of every food offered to you. (Exception: Lima beans) It’s polite, and you’ll expand your palate.
36) You are what you eat. You absorb what you read. You become what you believe.
37) Never let a five year old climb a willow tree in his cowboy boots.
38) Relatives do not get a vote just because they’re related if they don’t have your best interest at heart.
39) Emotional vampires really exist. Vanquish them in your life at any cost.
40) Bacon is an aphrodisiac. And less slimy than oysters.
41) Trust your body. If something feels ‘wrong’, follow up.
42) Never say anything bad about the other parent to your children. They have very sensitive BS detectors and will figure things out.
43) Friends are family you choose for yourself.
44) It takes more muscles to smile than to frown. Do some weight training every day.
45) You must sing along to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, even if you don’t know the words. It’s a law.
46) Remember, children’s brains are not fully formed until age 25. Repeat this to yourself over and over.
47) Emphasize the fact that wine has been proven to contain anti-aging properties whenever possible.
48) No matter what you do to fight it, gravity will eventually win. Because your neck is a blabbermouth.
49) Bladder control is the key to everything.
50) Keep your smile on and your chin up.
Bonus: Words are containers of power, for good or bad. Think before you wield your weapons.
Kristin Nador is our Blogger of the Month for November. She blogs at kristin nador writes anywhere.