Banishing Blogging Envy

Submitted by Stephanie Clinton, OkWB Admin

This past week the blogging envy troll has been showing his ugly face again.  That little SOB.  A little more than a year ago I wrote about blogging envy and how I deal with it.  The jealousy we feel when a big time blogger promotes a smaller blogger and tells her 10 million fans to go and read the small potatoes blogger and the rest of us wonder why the universe picked her to the win the blogging jackpot that day.  I’m over that, for real.  I haven’t felt that ugly feeling in a long time.

This is a different ugly feeling.  The feeling that I’m just standing still while all these other bloggers buzz around me, making amazing things happen.  I think the biggest challenge that makes this evil little troll mess with my head are the numbers.  Blogging is such a numbers game but there aren’t any hard and fast rules on how to win.  That’s really frustrating, what works for some people doesn’t work for others.  It just doesn’t seem fair and it’s a hard pill to swallow.  This week the numbers really got to me when a PR company that I wanted to work with told me that my stats didn’t meet their criteria.  I understood, they have their rules, but it stung.

I’ve learned not to look at my stats too often and focus on my writing.  However, it’s hard to stay positive when you create something that you think is really great and hardly anybody sees it.  I’ve come up with a few defense mechanisms when these feelings get to be too much.

First, I take stock of my list of blogging goals that are mocking me.  If they are bringing me down or doing more damage than good, I tear them up and write new ones.  No one ever said you had to write a list in stone…except Moses.  And even he tossed out the 1st draft in frustration.  That first draft must have been super long and both God and Moses knew his people wouldn’t be able to keep up with it.  I think he went back to God and was like “numbers 11 and 102 are just way too hard.  Can we revise this list?  Make it a little more manageable?”  And God was like…”sure thing Moses.  I was expecting way too much of you and human kind to ask you to cut out all sugar and caffein and all that other stuff.  Here’s a new list, one that is attainable”  But I digress.  My point is, it’s okay to revise lists and goals.

Next, I take stock of what I have to be thankful for.  When the troll whispers his lies into my ear it’s easy to focus on my perceived failures.  This happens often so I force myself to start listing off the good things happening in my life, accomplishments I’ve made personally and on my blog, where I am abundant, what I have to be grateful for.  Reviewing the areas of my life that I should be giving thanks forces me to stop my pity party.  I have to repeat this step often, but it helps.

Now it’s your turn.  What do you do to ward off blogging envy?

Oklahoma Women BloggersStephanie Clinton is a SAHM to two boys ages 9 and 4.  She loves their hugs and kisses but does not love wiping their snotty noses.  In her past life she has been a Gymboree teacher, an activity director at a retirement home, a business manager and a celebrity sighter.  She likes to think of herself as a pretty decent cook, artistic, crafty and sort of okay with a sewing machine.  She is a free lance writer, administrator for Oklahoma Women Bloggers and contributor to Metro Family Magazine.  In her free time (if there ever is any) she can be found reading, volunteering in her community, singing, avoiding housework but most of all blogging about her stay-at-home adventures.  Visit her at www.hugskissesandsnot.com

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11 comments

  1. It happens to me sometimes. I’m friends with some bloggers who are what I would call big time. When the green eyed monster pops up I just remind myself of this
    I started writing when I was young because I had to get oyt what was inside. I started sharing because I had some people who said I like your stuff others will too you should blog. Your a great storyteller. So I did. I write for myself. I dont worry about a brand or whether it fits in anywhete I write because I have to get it out and Im a pretty good storyteller.
    Red Dirt Sweetie <3

  2. That has happened to me in the past – nearly all my blogging friends are bigger than me so I learned to accept that as a given. However, when the PR firm turned me down twice because of my stats, I figured out how to get around it and now, while I am still one of the smaller bloggers (I prefer up and coming blogger) who gets to work with Social Media Firms, I still get to do it. I can’t tell you how to do it for your specific blog but for mine, it is mostly recipes and some repurposing crafts. I asked to be included in many multi-blog celebrations that involved company giveaways. The way I did that was to join as many blogger FB groups as I felt I could reasonably contribute to and then I made friends by asking advice, reading their blogs and commenting.

    I participated in a 25-blogger event for Festivus that OXO sponsored. I got some new followers out of it but I also did a pretty bang-up job of promoting the event on my end keeping our PR person involved in all I did – asking for his suggestions and then doing them. A few weeks later, I was contacted by a large Social Media Firm asking if I would like to apply to work with them – they knew I had smaller numbers than others but they had heard I was very easy to work with – and so now, I get paid to do the occasional promoted post for them. OXO does not send me gadgets every month like they do my blogging friends but every few months they do and are very generous each time. Weave Made is for up and coming blogs (they don’t just work with food bloggers) and so I would suggest applying with them. Here are their requirements: Weave Women

    Love to connect with your readers on a personal level
    Have been blogging for 3 or more months and post on a consistent basis
    Actively engaged on 3 or more social media platforms
    Have the ability to take clear, bright photos and style them in your posts?
    Limit the ratio of giveaways or sponsored posts to original content?
    Resident in the U.S. or or on the Canadian border, but has a high readership in the US?
    Able to participate in shops involve shopping in a retailer
    Generate a minimum of 7,500 page views per month
    If you feel your blog would be a good fit for our community, we’d love for you to Apply. You can apply at Weavemade.com.

    I enjoy working with them because they make sure I get paid on time – it’s horrible trying to chase money after I have already done the work. I know this has been long – sorry – I’m sort of a solution to the perceived problem person.
    Kelli’s Kitchen recently posted…Bacon Salad with Warm Dressing #baconmonthMy Profile

  3. I feel your pain, Stephanie. I see a flatline day on the graph and I wonder “Why am I doing this – does anybody care?” And then I think about a comment someone made about how a post mattered, or lifted them up, or cracked them up and I say “Oh yeah – that’s why I’m doing this. Because it’s what I’m suppose to be doing.” I believe it’s one of the things God gave me to do, that He is the supplier of the ideas, and I’m suppose to take good care of the stuff He’s given me – which includes sharing.

    Oh – by the way, many of your posts have served JUST those purposes for me. Introducing me to the mailbox library and Medieval Fair post (still laughing!) to name two!

    Thanks, Kelli for the tips and sharing the info. I’m still way too small for even the small guy, but I guess we just keep moving one step at a time. Nobody ever got to their destination by standing still.
    Shel Harrington recently posted…The Day of Divorce: How to PrepareMy Profile

    • Jordan says:

      “I believe it’s one of the things God gave me to do, that He is the supplier of the ideas, and I’m suppose to take good care of the stuff He’s given me – which includes sharing.” Great quote, Shel. Takes the pressure off to create. We are just the vessel sharing with the world!

  4. Not long ago I read Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. She has an excellent chapter on dealing with jealousy. A big aha moment for me was not the advice she offered but the discovery that she–a multi-best-selling author was still struggling with it. Makes one think! She also offers insight on publication, which really helped me put my writing into proper perspective. I won’t say too much about it here because these topics will be in a few of my own future posts. But in the meantime, check out her book if you haven’t already. Informative and laugh-out-loud funny!
    Dee Dee Chumley recently posted…Reading About WritingMy Profile

  5. Letty Watt says:

    Great story about blog envy, Stephanie. I’ve experienced exactly what you feel and I have one great thought pattern. As in life, as in my competitive nature as a golfer, and as a writer, I have no expectations that my story is the one that’s going to turn the world around. I focus on writing the best story I can for that moment or experience, and hope that maybe even one person enjoys it. If more than one read and enjoy then I’m pleased. Often our expectations set us up for failure, when wheat we really need to do is our best and let the rest flow to the eventual top of the mountain moment. Good luck.
    Letty Watt recently posted…A Piece of TimeMy Profile

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