Momma’s Family

Heather DavisToday’s post is brought to us by Heather Davis, the first member of Oklahoma Women Bloggers. The author of several award-winning memoirs, you can find her blog, Minivan Momma, to hear more about her “adventures in the funny lane.”

 

I try extra hard to be grateful for the positives in my life. I try even harder to turn the negatives into positives.

I was thrown for a loop, however, when my own momma had a stroke in March. My dad had a long and lurid history of strokes and cardiac ill-health. So, when my mom had her stroke, I knew what a game-changer it would be for her. At 75-years-old, she was still 100% independent, lived on her own, updated Facebook regularly and pretty much still called all of her own shots.

The stroke was debilitating. Her life was changed. No longer does she have the use of her right hand, and most of her right arm. She can walk only with assistance. Mentally, she’s on top of her game, but she has to learn a whole new way of living.

And, she’s doing it at my house.

I spent the greater portion of my teenage years trying to figure out a way to not live with this woman. Oddly enough, my family and I just went through major changes in order to live with her yet again. And I’m grateful that I can help in this way.

I am also so grateful to be able to pay that woman back.

“We don’t do that in this house.”

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“I think it’s time for you to get out of bed.”

“Where are you going?”

“Come back here.”

“What did you just say?”

All of these things—and many more—have escaped from my mouth to my mother’s ears since she’s moved in. All said in love, of course, because I only want what’s best for her. (I don’t know how many times she followed up her scoldings with those exact words!)

If only she’d start dating a guy named Boner and if only she’d break down in sobs telling me she loved him just so I could tell her in no uncertain terms that Boner was not an acceptable boyfriend OR name, the circle would be complete.

Even if that never happens, I’m grateful to be able to bring my momma into my home. And not just so I can make her eat the crusts on her PB & Js.

10153283_10203807847660427_5404934977475356501_n(1)Heather, Daughter 1 and Heather’s own Momma share a selfie.

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2 comments

  1. Having had ‘grandma’ move into our house during my youth for similar reasons, I’m well aware of the challenges that existed during those years and the toll it took on my mother, the kids and my parent’s marriage. Even when it is good and right, there are serious stressors. (Preaching to the choir here??) Maintaining a sense of humor and focusing on the foundation of love is, of course, essential to survival. But enforce timeouts on yourself as well. And for your husband. And maybe even the kids. Be very, very good to yourself, Heather – it HAS to be a priority so you can better serve others!
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