Terrible Twos

The two’s really aren’t that terrible.

I just felt the universe shift a little from the collective eye-roll of all the moms out there currently dealing with a toddler.

But it’s the truth.

Yes it’s frustrating. Nerve wracking. Heart stopping even at times. But not terrible.

Why do we think the twos are so terrible? Kids just grow up and around two you as a parent begin a lifelong realization that the child you brought into the world and loved and nurtured and thought you were going to shape into just the person you wanted, is going to do his own shaping.

Somewhere from the moment of conception, you’ve had this idea of who this baby will be. What he’ll look and act like. And then suddenly he turns to you and says, NO. He’s going to have his own personality, not a clone of you and your spouse. He’s going to make his own decisions, some right – many wrong. You can guide, advise, discipline, punish but when all is said and done, he will be his own person. Your little ballerina will decide she wants to play softball instead. Your football player will come home and say he’s joined the band. You never even know if maybe one day your little guy will come home and tell you he’s decided to be a girl.

Yep, the twos are not terrible. They’re just a microscopic example of what is in store in raising a child.

So your job. Don’t make their decisions for them. Teach them how to make decisions, because life is full of decisions from choosing what food to eat to choosing what person to marry.

If you remember back (I’m about old enough to remember this first hand) the first thing Adam and Eve had to do, even before they made clothes, was to make decisions. And they didn’t do such a good job of deciding what to eat.

So my advice from the mom who’s been there and lived through it, embrace the terrible twos, the horrible threes, the what-was-I-thinking fours,… (don’t even think about the how-in-the-heck-are-we-going-to-survive teens) and accept that your child will have to learn to make his own choices and that’s a good thing.

And you need to help them do it well, because some day he’ll be making the ultimate choice -what rest home to put you in.

Denise Jarmola blogs at Devotions From The Resident Heretic.