Terrible Twos

The two’s really aren’t that terrible.

I just felt the universe shift a little from the collective eye-roll of all the moms out there currently dealing with a toddler.

But it’s the truth.

Yes it’s frustrating. Nerve wracking. Heart stopping even at times. But not terrible.

Why do we think the twos are so terrible? Kids just grow up and around two you as a parent begin a lifelong realization that the child you brought into the world and loved and nurtured and thought you were going to shape into just the person you wanted, is going to do his own shaping.

Somewhere from the moment of conception, you’ve had this idea of who this baby will be. What he’ll look and act like. And then suddenly he turns to you and says, NO. He’s going to have his own personality, not a clone of you and your spouse. He’s going to make his own decisions, some right – many wrong. You can guide, advise, discipline, punish but when all is said and done, he will be his own person. Your little ballerina will decide she wants to play softball instead. Your football player will come home and say he’s joined the band. You never even know if maybe one day your little guy will come home and tell you he’s decided to be a girl.

Yep, the twos are not terrible. They’re just a microscopic example of what is in store in raising a child.

So your job. Don’t make their decisions for them. Teach them how to make decisions, because life is full of decisions from choosing what food to eat to choosing what person to marry.

If you remember back (I’m about old enough to remember this first hand) the first thing Adam and Eve had to do, even before they made clothes, was to make decisions. And they didn’t do such a good job of deciding what to eat.

So my advice from the mom who’s been there and lived through it, embrace the terrible twos, the horrible threes, the what-was-I-thinking fours,… (don’t even think about the how-in-the-heck-are-we-going-to-survive teens) and accept that your child will have to learn to make his own choices and that’s a good thing.

And you need to help them do it well, because some day he’ll be making the ultimate choice -what rest home to put you in.

Denise Jarmola blogs at Devotions From The Resident Heretic.

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  1. Cathy Collar says:

    So true Denise. I do believe that the terrible twos are when our children start exploring the world around them and trying to make sense of is all. It is an amazing time if discovery for them and you as a parent.

  2. Betty Carroll says:

    Enjoyed this, especially the comment about the nursing home. Hope I didn’t mess up when they were 2.

  3. Lisa Marotta says:

    Parenting gets really interesting right about the time of potty training. As you remind us, like so many other things later in life you can lead them to it- but you can’t make them do it. I appreciate the positivity of this message!

  4. Aw! This made me hug my little ones a little closer. I try to embrace every age, but sometimes it’s hard when one is spitting food on the floor and the other is rolling over it with a tricycle.

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