Can I Ax The Axe?

From birth we give our children things that they want/need that we know we will soon have to take away. Things like the breast, bottles, pacifiers, thumbs, sippy cups are just a few examples. We also begin letting them make a few choices of their own around the age of three and are thrilled when they choose apples over french fries in their kids meals, but of course the fast food chain wasn’t liking that and had to start including both, adding 100 calories, 5g of fat and 13 carbs to my diet. Thanks, my rear appreciates you.

Why did I ever let mine start making their own choices? Around the age of 9, my son raised his arm after football practice. I didn’t see a single hair, but instead marched him into Wal-Mart like a tin soldier, arms straight down, to the Health and Beauty Aid section. It was time to purchase his first hygiene product. Deodorant. Guess what his choice was? Axe. You know the one where you get an instant six-pack and all the girls flock to you after you kill the shark and an astronaut appears out of nowhere claiming that you leave a man, but return a hero. Ummm, yeah. At around $4 each, we walked out of there with the $2 version that his Daddy uses. He wasn’t happy.

About a week later he walked in with his first stick of AXE.  If Moma won’t buy it for me at Wal-Mart, Grandma will at Reasors. Don’t you love it? Well I don’t.  Not just the fact that he got his way with Grandma, that’s what Grandma’s are for, but I simply detest certain scents and strengths of this product. Migraines. With sprays, deodorants, shampoos, body washes, hair products and now even a girly line. Scream. This has been going on for three years now. A 12 year boy does not need to smell like this. It’s enough to kill a shark.

We have compromised though. On some days. We found a “flavor” that doesn’t mess with my head too much and as long as he doesn’t bathe in it, he can wear it. Unfortunately, I found a gift set at Christmas in that “flavor” that contained a couple of other products one being a body spray. He thinks because I bought it he can wear it and since he leaves so early in the morning that I won’t notice he uses it. That’s the worse time to use scents.

And wouldn’t you just know it, I walk into Wal-Mart the other day and am met with this display.

Sharhonda1

I’m sure it won’t be long until the peach fuzz that can only be seen with a magnifying glass at this point will have to be taken off with this special razor. I paid for my groceries. Got my receipt and walked out of that place as fast as I could, because who lingers in Wal-Mart? Then what happens? The back of my receipt is plastered with AXE!!!! Don’t believe me? Look…

ShaRhonda2

I’m telling you this AXE brand is out to get me. I wonder if it will devastate him too bad as a pre-teen if I just ax the AXE altogether? It surely can’t be that much of a security blanket or girl catcher can it? Will I destroy his teenage years just by taking away his deodorant? Keep him from becoming an astronaut? A mother’s choices certainly do not always smell like a bed of roses, do they?

ShaRhonda
ShaRhonda Crow is our Blogger of the Month. She blogs at The Four Crows.
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3 comments

  1. Can we also ax their ridiculous “girls will fall all over you if you wear this” commericals? Because, news flash fellas, they won’t. Most will cross the street to get away from the smell.

  2. You know … I have horrible allergies and have axed a number of perfumes and aftershaves over the years but most of the Axe products … I like! My favorite is the Dark Temptation one. My guys must use it in reasonable doses though because I have heard this complaint from others.

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